Big news: I got married this summer.
I also submitted the first full doozy of a draft of the manuscript I’ve been chiseling into actualization for an entire year of my life.
It’s been an interesting social experiment to notice whom in my life sees which event as the "bigger" accomplishment-- and also to notice how seductive it can be to make either of these events mean something about my “worth” as a human.
I’ve been catching myself in conversations with others, admiring the gold on my left hand, feeling that this somehow verifies the shaky hypothesis that I am actually loved, and worthy of love. Capable of both giving and receiving.
It’s subtle and brief. A whisper of an impulse to prove myself good enough, mixed with the pride that now somehow I have.
This impulse passes quickly -- but still, the impulse exists.
I'm sure I picked that up somewhere when I was young. Disney movies, rom-com fantasies, the general culture at large.
The same goes when I share the news that I’ve submitted the manuscript for my first book, which -- to be clear-- still needs a million hours of edits. It would be easy to collapse into the belief that a manuscript means something about me: It's proof that I'm someone with a voice and a perspective that is worthy of being heard.
Of course, the unspoken byline here is: because a publisher said so.
This is the danger of investing our sense of "self-worth" in achievements, fulfilled expectations, and the opinions of others. They are volatile markets. Conditional. Always changing.
And I know first hand that anxiety skyrockets when our sense of self cannot find stable ground.
The truth that I continue to reconnect to is that my worth, your worth, OUR worth-- as glorious and easily confused creatures of Earth-- is fundamental to our being. Native land.
It cannot be added to, multiplied, divided or lost. It can only be remembered, reclaimed, and rested in. It can also be reflected by community -- and amplified what we find beautiful and moving.
Even when advertising, neurosis, and heartwrenching-trashcan-news-cycles communicate otherwise -- which of course they do.
Even when relationships fall apart and people dislike our perspectives-- which, of course, they will. You can bank on it. A knowingness of our true worth exists as the bedrock we can return to again and again.
I have been worthy of love and the use of my voice looooong before either book or marriage occurred as proof of concept.
And the grand reveal is: so are you.
This is precisely what we're going to spend 5 Days exploring and experiencing in the gorgeous container of Upstate New York at The Path of Self Worth Retreat: August 26 - 31st
I would love to have you there.
* For my fellow New Yorkers : there is a shuttle to and from the OMEGA Institute's Rhinebeck campus. No Driving required. Halleloo.
Here's a taste of what you can expect to experience::
• Meditation sessions throughout the day
• A deep dive into The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism and how they point us directly towards our inherent worth
• All-levels yoga and movement led by the incomparably loving, gentle and wise Terri Barnett
• Gorgeous farm fresh local + organic food
• Nature walks and expeditions
• Plenty of down time for reading, napping, star-gazing, daydreaming
• Beloved community
• Your own deep and abiding loveliness: magnified.
IF YOU HAVE ANY Q's about this retreat, don't hesitate to hit the "REPLY" button on this email and reach out to me directly.
And if you cannot make it to practice with us this time around, I want to continue to remind you:
YOU ARE GOLDEN. Quite Literally. According to science, the human body is composed of 0.2 milligrams of gold. How's that for proof of concept?